Choosing New Patterns on Purpose
“Exchanging old code for new code.
Yes, thank you, more please!”
As a reminder, when something painful happens (real or imagined, once or several times), the nervous system responds with a survival strategy, and the brain creates meaning around it. Code is then written within us for future “survival.”
Sometimes, this code is even handed down to us—through DNA sequencing and/or epigenetics.
Once the code is received/written, it becomes a belief inside of us, and we start writing more code based on top of that code (experiences stack and it becomes even more “rooted” in our being).
Over time, the code becomes a part of the way we identify with the world and ourselves.
But it is also important to remind ourselves that neurologically, these identity statements/beliefs about ourselves are simply rehearsed neural pathways—survival interpretations your brain (or your mother’s brain) created to make sense of pain.
And by virtue of these beliefs being interpretations…they are not permanent, nor were/are they truths.
Most of us begin (and continue) our personal development by using our prefrontal cortex to examine inquiries like (but not limited to):
And while this awareness is important…it’s often where we stop. Because the next chapter requires a deep devotion to the Self—an often uncomfortable, inconvenient, relentless devotion.
Rewriting our own code.
It means consciously choosing new interpretations, responses, and identities—and practicing them until they become your new default.
To use the power of your free will—by harnessing the power of your mind, preferences, choices, truths to rewrite the code you’ve been living out for years/decades.
A conscious reinvention and experience of yourself, right in the middle of the life you co-created from your old code.
This is not pretending, bypassing, ridiculous, impossible, selfish, narcissistic, or harmful to yourself or others.
“I see what has been created… and I am no longer choosing to run this old code. I am an organic, natural being and am free to step outside this old program and into new code that serves me and the world around me in its truth.”
If your system learned to shut down, react, or avoid…
Rewriting looks like: staying present when discomfort arises, breathing into what is happening by using 80/20, This is Happening Right Now, Finding the Beauty, etc. Ushering your nervous system beyond the old code into a new field/new code.
Over time, the body learns: I can stay here. I am safe enough to remain present and be with what is real here and what I should be paying attention to/setting boundaries with/speaking up about.
At some point, something happened. Let’s say you developed a belief like “I’m bad with money”…
Maybe you were told:
And then perhaps you co-create experiences that would then make this feel even more true: overspending, making financial mistakes, feeling stressed or overwhelmed around money.
The nervous system responds with a strategy and the brain affirms: “I’m bad with money.” Over time, this stops feeling like something you were told or did…and starts feeling like your identity.
But in truth: this is not a fact. It is a rehearsed interpretation that has now become a piece of code.
Rewriting the code might look like: beginning to track your finances, making small consistent decisions, pausing before spending, learning slowly and without judgment.
At first, it may feel unnatural, uncomfortable, not true or inconvenient, but over time: “I’m bad with money” becomes “I’m someone who is learning how to be responsible with money” and eventually “I’m someone who handles money well”—and you have literally shifted your code to meet your desired experience of yourself and of life. You are now living inside a “new code” truth.
At first: it takes a lot of thinking, courage and processing. It might feel awkward, overwhelming, even scary.
After repeatedly practicing your new code (non-driver to driver):
Time: 5 minutes
Close your eyes. Bring to mind a belief about yourself that no longer feels true.
(e.g. I’m too much… I’m not enough… I’m difficult…)
Now, see this belief as something that was learned and then something practiced over and over (whether in action or thought).
Gently say to yourself:
“This is something I learned… not who I am.
This is something I learned… not who I am.”
Now ask yourself: If that belief was never there… who might I be, how might I act/respond, what might I be experiencing of myself and life?
Let what feels true arise. (Perhaps you have a lighter feeling and start to smile, perhaps grief releases where there’s a stuck tension/untruth, perhaps your posture, heart rate or breath changes, etc.)
Bring to mind a real moment where the old pattern would normally run (maybe you have a real experience you can call upon or you imagine a scenario…)
Now see yourself showing up from this new place—operating under your new coding. Feel the shift in your being. How does your body language shift? What are the thoughts you’re having? How are you moving in the space?
See it playing out in your mind’s eye. Consider even if it doesn’t “go the way you want” how your thoughts and body respond in a way that is supportive and embodied in this new code anyway…
This is one way we begin to change our code—by visualizing, feeling, and giving the nervous system a practice run for how we might respond in real-life situations.
Practicing this often—with different beliefs about yourself—can be very, very supportive. Especially if there is a core belief that tends to get triggered across multiple scenarios. You might explore playing out different situations for that same core belief, allowing your system to experience new ways of responding.
And now, you also have:
These are all assets that create spaciousness and more ease…so that your new code can come online and become your response and multiple reference points and options available that feel familiar and possible.
How might you allow this new code to become a fully embodied expression/experience—as in give yourself a full body experience…give yourself your own piece of matwork—the cells of the body will learn through movement and experience that something new is coming on board/happening. New lived experience.
Student: This morning, as two codes are present, I find the rewrite is similar and wondering if there is one big code that underlies all or many of mine. That I am unsafe and not taken care of. At the moment, rehearsing the new pattern is a bit elusive to me… I can touch it but not totally feel it.
Golden Path Response:
Thank you for bringing this inquiry here so we can be with it together.
While there may be a deeper underlying code beneath both, that will reveal itself in its own timing. For now, let’s not work hard, and instead honor what is already here and available.
If I’m understanding correctly, the two old codes that are present right now are:
As a support in your process, I’d offer the following:
1) A helpful place to begin is remembering that the most supportive rewrite is usually not a glossy opposite like:
“I am completely safe”
“I am always taken care of”
I personally find statements like that feel like I’m bypassing/overriding/gaslighting how I’m feeling… and they never work. So rather than overreaching or pretending…I like to work in the moment with something real. (see below ideas)
2) A new code will only truly take root when it is something that can be felt and embodied. Just saying something won’t work. It has to become a “lived experience.”
3) If your body can feel even 2% into the new code—the rewriting begins.
4) A simple way to check if your rewrite is on track: Does my body feel 2% more safe right now?
If yes, you are on the right track. If not, soften the statement or bring more embodiment/care/attunement until it becomes more true/real/lived.
For: “I am unsafe”
Possible rewrites might look like:
Again, if your body can feel even 2% more safety—where previously it only felt “unsafe”—the code is already beginning to shift.
And remember your rewrites must include embodiment: touch, breath, gentle movement, orienting to your surroundings, connecting with something steady in the room (an animal, a plant, the air, a person, a photo of someone you love, etc.)…anything that embodies and anchors the moment.
Why these kind of embodied rewrites work:
For: “I am not taken care of”
Possible rewrites might look like:
Remember your rewrites must include embodiment: touch, breath, gentle movement, orienting to your surroundings, connecting with something steady in the room (an animal, a plant, the air, a person, a photo of someone you love, etc.)…anything that embodies and anchors the moment.
Why the kind of embodied rewrites above work:
This is not about finding a more beautiful sentence. It is about shifting into a new lived orientation. In the case of these two old codes, you’ve opened the possibility for yourself to go from the old code to the new code below:
Old code:
New code:
You are not in repulsion of who you currently are. Who you are right now is enough, beautiful and amazing.
You are, however, choosing to exchange old code for new code—new code that is based on YOUR OWN choices, preferences, truths and desires.
The old code may still arise. It is well-practiced. It is familiar. But just because something is practiced and familiar…does not make it true.
“The more time you spend in the practice and leveraging the assets you’ve been given, the more your new code has the opportunity to come online, build new neural pathways, and become the beautiful ‘new’ truth of who you are.”